I work at a help desk. The calls I get are the usual.
Today I had one of those calls that shouldn't surprise you.
The customer called in because they couldn't change their password on a system they didn't have an account on and were kind of perturbed about it.
I asked them to make sure they didn't have an account, and that they weren't just using the wrong system. The confirmed they didn't have an account.
I checked the system and they didn't have an account.
I asked them why they wanted to change the password on an account that didn't exist.
They thought they should be able to do it for some reason.
I can't figure it out.
I said to apply for an account on that system then they could change the password on the account.
They asked me to make the account for them because if they did the paperwork it would be a waste of time.
I think they must have worked for the government.

It is warm in here.
Now it is cold in here.
I'm having hot flashes.
I think I have the menopause or something.

So, between my wife and I we have six degrees.
One of the kids had brake problems on their little bike.
So we worked on it.
We're educated.
We can't fix the front brake.
Somehow I end up taking off the rear tire, the chain and the seat to try to fix this.
I'm not mechanically inclined.
Maybe I'll go get pizza.

So, the dog ate an entire loaf of bread apparently.
The wife put the bread on the table.
Somehow the dog managed to get to the middle of the table, get the bag open then proceed to eat the entire thing.
The dog is going to either be clogged up for quite some time or will be jonesing for some peanut butter and jelly pretty soon.

So, I had some snacks.
Some spicy goldfish crackers.
I ate some, got tired of 'em and I am too lazy to take them downstairs and put in the trash.
The dog isn't around to feed them to her.
So I dumped them in the toilet.
I figured that was an easy way to get rid of them.
So I watched them float for a bit, then I flushed.
They swirled around, and left for the sea.
Some made it out.
Others survived.
I've left them in the bowl for someone else to find and ponder.
The three year old is at my mom's place so no one should use it as a "snack" bowl.
Well, the dog might.

This sounds like my HMO.

===

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked,
"Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?
The operator said "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room
number?
The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room
302."
The Operator replied, "Let me place you on hold while I check with her
nurse."
After a few minutes the Operator returned to the phone, "Oh, Good news.
Her nurse has told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure
is fine: her blood work just came back as normal and her physician, Dr.
Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged Tuesday."
The Grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried!
God bless you for the good news."
The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"
The Grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in 302. No one tells me shit."

We have a password reset page that gives you two options.
One says "If you are on the corporate network, the other says if you are on a remote machine and not on the corporate network."
Someone called, asked me what option to pick if they were working remotely from home and weren't on the corporate network.
At least they knew their username.

The other day the two older kids wouldn't play with their little sister.
The youngest came in crying about it.
So, I went out to see what was happening.
The twins said they didn't have time to play with her, that they were busy.
I said they should play with their sister and include her.
I told the little one that if her sisters were mean to her that she'd go get ice cream and they'd stay home.
The two older ones played with her, had fun and all had an enjoyable time.
Later I asked each my older two if they were mean or nice, they each said nice.
I asked the youngest one if her sisters were mean or nice to her.
She said "MEAN! I GET ICE CREAM!"
Smart kid.

A customer called in earlier today for their account info, got their username and password.
The customer called back.
They can't get logged into the system for the first time.
The username and/or password doesn't work.
I verify their identify, and then confirm the username.
I spell the username out for them. The seem to accept it.
They try to login, it doesn't work.
I change the password, give the new password and confirm the username (again).
It doesn't work for them.
I ask to login as them, it works for me.
The customer finally says that the username I gave them was wrong and they were using the right one.
They didn't like the one we assigned them and thought it should be something different.
I wonder how you can support the irrational.

So my daughter was doing her homework.
She was writing a brief story about something.
She stopped.
She looked at me.
She said "Dad, my periods are messy."
And I thought "Yeah, just wait honey. Just wait."