$1360 for plane ticket and hotel

slightly cheaper than the $3200 price I found earlier

With the money you save, you could get a hooker or gfe

gfe?

girlfriend experience

ahh

I read about it on a web site.

I think that means she nags you, wants you to commit and makes you spend lots of money on her.

She'll also alienate you from your friends, probably.

But I'm not sure.

So, I was telling my wife how "shit my dad says" has been optioned for a tv series and a book and stuff.

She thinks you guys need to get off your asses and post funny stuff.

Then, she also thinks I need to come up with funny stuff.

So I told her that I'd have more material if she cooked more often.

I then drew her a map to the kitchen.

"The computer was upgraded to Office 2007 and now has stripes."

I love web tickets.

Customer puts in an online request for service, which requires their username and password to access the system.

The ticket: "Please send me my username."

Best. Ticket.

It is Monday morning.
I make the coffee.
I can't find any regular.
Everyone is getting decaf until further notice.
This is not a test.

Now I'm debating putting a sign up in the break room for this.
Nah, let 'em figure it out.

It is early, we've already got a pair of winners:

1) "How do I submit an online request for service?" -- submitted via, you guessed it, the online request for service site

2) "Neither of my monitors will display anything, and I am seeing several error messages about the network." -- Umm, okay. Either the first part isn't correct or you are having flashbacks causing the second or maybe the monitors won't display anything but network error messages

I think Windows Vista had the interface designed by someone who sat at a Mac for 30 minutes and also heard about apt-get from a buddy down at the Circle K.

I got in trouble the other day, but the scenario is funnier if you use fast food as the example.

A customer walks into McDonald's and orders a Whopper. The cashier says we don't have Whoppers, but lets go get in my car and I'll drive you over to Burger King because that is what I have to do. The cashier takes the customer to Burger King, gets them their food and makes sure they are happy. Meanwhile, the customers at McDonald's are standing in line staring at a cash register with no cashier.

"My buddy Hobbes contacted me the other day.
She wanted me...
To update the blog.
Damn, this was better had I stopped at the second line."

kthxbai

Customer called in, said his computer was making a noises that sounded like a dying yak. My first thought was "How do you know what a dying yak sounds like?" then I started to ask "African or European yak?"