First call of the day...

Caller: "Umm, yeah I can't get into my e-mail, it says the password has expired. When I try to log into the system it says the password has expired and I need to change it. If I go to the web site, it says something about a password being expired. Is there a problem with my password and could it be expired?"

Me: *click* dial-tone

I think I have a case of "The Mondays".

So, the radio is on, a song comes and goes and a bit later one of the kids comes over and asks me what a booty is and how to make it talk.
All my hair greyed instantly.

Well, the four year old came home mad.
Apparently you can't lay on the t-ball field while they play.
She got mad when her coach, her mom, her grandma, the other coach, and people in the stands yelled at her to stand up.

My wife isn't smart.
She took two of the kids out to eat, while I stayed home with the one that was in trouble.
My wife didn't bring me home anything.
So, I haven't eaten.
She asked me why I didn't eat with the one.
I said I wasn't a prisoner, and thought I'd get a treat like the others that got to go free.

Happy Mother's Day!
Tonight, my wife is doing what made her a mom in the first place.
Tequila shots!

So, the four year old is running around the house naked, humming the theme from the Smurfs tv show.

I just had a customer ask me if lower case was the same as small upper case letters. I honestly didn't know how to respond. So I said "uurrr" or something equally intelligent.

It is definitely Monday.

I told my wife I wished she was a pothead.
That way we'd always have better and more snacks around the house.

So, today at work I was helping someone who used English as a fifth language apparently.
I was speaking with them, and pressing the "1" on my phone.
They asked me what the beeping was, and I said it was my phone.
They asked why it was making that noise.
I said I was pressing "1" for English.

Well, I tried to sniff the wife.
She whacked my nose with a rolled up newspaper.