So the three year old got mad at my wife the other day.
She said she was going to sell off her mommy and get a new one.
I offered the kid $2 for the mommy.
I won!
I think I got a bargain.
'cept my wife said that even though I bought her she still isn't going to listen to me.
I asked the three year old about a refund, she declined.

I got fired today
Yep.
My wife isn't all that upset, either.
Of course it was my three year old doing the firing.
She's mad at me.
I ate her m&m candies.
So when I got home I was met at the door by the three year old, she looked at me and said "Daddy, you're fired!" and she stomped off.
I asked what that meant, and she said I had to leave.