Well, dinner must be ready. The smoke detector is going off.
I don't know why she uses that as the timer, though.

I was giving the dog some of our leftovers from dinner.
Elwood, the dog, is good at catching stuff thrown or dropped.
So, I'm dropping some fish into her food bowl.
She gets wise, and decides to snipe a piece as it falls.
It falls, she goes for it and noses it.
Right into her water bowl.
So, she looks into the bowl, looks up at me as if to say "You go get it!"

So someone called today, needed help with a password reset.
They call up and say something about having password problems and they can't login.
So, me being the person who is probably going to help them ask them the most obvious question "What system?"
I am met with silence, a long breath, another long pause and finally "How the hell am I supposed to know?"

I came upstairs, turned the corner and found one of the kids stark naked standing on a step stool twisted and turning trying to look at her bottom.
No mirror in the room, so I asked why she was on the stool. She said it was so she could see better.

So, I woke up this morning and felt awful so I called off.
I came back to bed and found the dog in my spot.
She went for the warm spot.
Warm dog.
So, I tried to find a spot on the bed for me.
I took the dog's spot.
I woke up at one point only a few inches from the rear of the basset hound.
She, umm, how do I phrase this...
She "tooted" right then, I nearly gagged, passed out and choked.
I'm guessing she has had her revenge upon some past transgression I've done upon her.

My youngest daughter is weird.
She has adopted the broken cable modem as her "baby" and carries it with her.
Earlier she bathed it.
If it wasn't broken, it is now I imagine.

The wife found a new recipe for spaghetti.
You saute all the veggies, that makes the sauce and you don't use a 'real' sauce like you would think of normally.
It was quite tasty.
like my wife! :)

When a child grooms herself using toothpaste, soap and conditioner in her hair it might lead to trouble.

Well, I scared the crap out of one of the kids tonight.
Man, that wall is going to need to be scraped and painted now.

If I had a polar bear, I would name it Pickles