And remember this:
There is a fine line between stupidity and clever.

I recruited someone else to read the blog.
We're growing in viewership.
I think we've increased by 50%, from 2 to 3.

[Jetta] ok gf is here - bbiab
Woot!
Hide the pr0n.
Hide it!
Everybody act cool.
Be casual.
[TomM] I'll hide the pr0n for ya. Just send it over.
We'll probably have to contract out the shipping and packing.
Hire workers in shifts.

Well, the wife has left me.
She took the kids.
Went to the in-laws.
I'm all alone.
Unsupervised.
I can watch all the BSG I want.
When I get hungry I can go to Taco Bell.
I just have to behave myself until they return.

Well, I am heading off to bed.
The wife leaves town tomorrow.
I have to give her a going away present.
I'm going to take some Tylenol PM and nod off quickly so she won't have to put up with me.

We came over here, the kids wanted to wash the van.
So, they washed until the water got icky, then I had to finish.
Oh well.
Apparently if it involves icky you have to ask dad.

My mom is funny.
She reads the scores and makes it up in her head who is going to play.
Somehow she has Tennessee out, and Vandy is still playing.
I'll miss her when we have to put her in the home.

Oh well.
The wife is in bed, reading.
She is covered up head to toe.
I'm getting mixed signals from her.
She's on the bed, so obviously she wants me.
But, she is covered up so I can't check her out almost as if she doesn't want me.
Or, she could be playing hard to get.
I may have to investigate.

We went for ice cream after we dropped the kids off.
Then stopped to pick up a 2 litre of Pepsi.
So yeah, fun night.
We came home.
I shaved.
Wild night.

The kids are with my mom.
The wife took me and the dog for a walk.
The wife is wide awake.
The dog is asleep on the couch.
I'm tired.
The wife is smooth, she had a plan.
She tired out the two who could still annoy her.
She is slick.

I got home, the kids were gone.
My mom has had them for most of the day.
I hope they are okay, my wife said my mom was going to cook for them.

It rained most of the day, I think.
I wouldn't know.
I was hunkered down in the cubicle, taking the calls, popping the stress tabs and hoping for a quick death.

She's a basset hound. She laid around, moped and slept.
She's like the dog version of me.

My three year old came parading through the room naked.
She was on the way to the bath.
The middle child soon followed, she was also naked.
The eldest came along, naked.
All three headed off for a bath.
I asked my wife is she was going to follow suit.
She declined.
I asked if she felt okay.
She said yeah.
So, I've got that going for me.

So, we're explaining heritage to one of the kids because she asked.
We explained my wife is 100% German.
So, our daughter is 50% German.
I explained she is 1/16th Native American, and 15/16th American Samoan.
She asked what samoan was, and my wife said "a cookie".
So, now the kid is saying "I'm half German, and half cookie"

Kids are all full of nyquil, time to enjoy some Scrubs!
I meant to say "Kids are all tucked in!"

So, I got up this morning, and had one of those fearful Monday mornings you dread.
I threw up, felt like crap and decided that since I didn't feel well I would go to work.

My daughter and I were playing with her Barbie laptop.
It is faster than my computer.

Canada is weird.
We should invade them, destroy them and take their bacon!

In other news, the Apprentice comes on in 10 minutes.
There's a three day waiting period for a hand gun, though.
Fate is a cruel mistress.

Well, I think I'll wander off in search of some food.
We're going to the park in a bit.
Food, then park.
Which means I need to find my book to take with me.
I'll sit and read, the kids will misbehave as heathens.
It'll be a good time for one and all.

Well, I think I'll wander off in search of some food.
We're going to the park in a bit.
Food, then park.
Which means I need to find my book to take with me.
I'll sit and read, the kids will misbehave as heathens.
It'll be a good time for one and all.

I had a dream I was chatting in IRC.
When I woke up, Pointwood was standing over me with a goat, and Jetta was in the other corner taking pictures of his dinner.
It was weird.
My wife started talking to me backwards, a dancing midget entered the room and the children were walking around on the ceiling.
All in all, something out of the Black Lodge in Twin Peaks, I presume

The U.S. sprang forward, the world appears to not have ended.
No thanks to Congress.
Wait.
No one greeted me when I arrived.
So, either everyone is asleep.
The world has ended.
Or, I'm trapped in some weird time paradox.
I could also still be asleep.

Wow, my daughter just came in and informed us that she has nothing to wear.
My wife looked at her and said she has a closet full of clothes.
My daughter stomped out mad.
I looked at my wife, shrugged and said "She's a woman."
My wife is now angry with me.

We're leaving them detailed instructions.
Stuff like, cheerios go in the kids and laundry detergent doesn't.

Tomorrow I go to the conference to be a story teller.
The wife and I have our own room.
And you know what that means!
If she packs the bacon grease I know it'll mean one thing.
If she packs the .38 it means something completely different.

I wonder how much bacon I could eat before I died, passed out or threw up.

I came real close to bringing sexyback, but decided tro leave it where it is, for the moment.

I thought eating a bloomin' onion, a bunch of bread, the prime rib, a salad, the potato, then a big ol' dessert was an awesome idea.
My stomach wishes to declare that it wasn't such a good idea.

bacon, the meat lover's chocolate

Time for some more whilden facts.
when whilden breaks wind (farts), an angel gets its wings (clipped)
Buffalo wings were originally going to be called Buffalo whildens.

My three year old is sick.
She has the croup.
We debated taking her to the emergency room.
But, I'm not sure leeches and faith healing will resolve the illness.

Oh well.
The wife wants to take a nap.
The middle child wants to cry because she can't fold paper.
The youngest is hungry and wants to make her own lunch.
I want to live in a wet county so I don't have to drive as far to get a drink.
Well, off to get some lunch.
Be back some time later in the future, or possibly the past.
You never know how time travel might work out, especially when you're using an MS OS.

[Jetta] so how was t-ball?
It was fine.
I only got hit once.
Most of the kids paid some attention part of the time.
No parents threatened me, and I only had to go into the stands once to punch a parent.
The police didn't get called this week.
No media, either.
All in all, a successful outing.

We have t-ball in about 45 minutes.
So, have to get the kids ready and head over to the Y.
Of course the Y is next door, so it takes all of three minutes to walk there.
It takes seven hours of preparation to make the walk, though.
The moon landing requires less effort than wrangling these three kids out the door to a destination in a timely fashion.
Less personnel and money as well, probably.

So, one of the kids is helping her sisters do their hair.
I had to step in and intervene.
I had to explain that "doing their hair" did not mean chopping it off with scissors.

So, there was a vacant building down the street from us that was a series of failed restaurants and was most recently the campaign headquarters for the then mayor who lost.
The building basically houses losers.
Apparently.

(Jetta being confused (as usual) about mention of DST issues with Windows
Umm, DST changes this year.
It begins three weeks earlier, and ends a week later.
We've had all these meetings about it.
It is worse than Y2K.We're counting on 42,000 employees to download a patch, update their OS, download and run a program to fix/update Outlook, download an update for their Blackberry and patch Java.
Well, we're not.
We (as in the help desk) are counting on a lot of phone calls and a lot of tickets.
Personally, I'm counting on a lot of missed meetings and angry people.

We should invent whildenisms, kind of like the Chuck Norris phenomena.
Bah!
whilden in small amounts is known to cause a rash in small children
whilden should not be taken internally
whilden may stain, apply a small amount to test