A customer calls up with a problem with a Blackberry.
I give him the simple fix.
He says that won't fix the issue.
I asked him to try it, and why he thought it wouldn't resolve his issue when it works for so many others.
He said he didn't know why, but he knew that it wouldn't resolve his issue.
He refuses to try the simple/quick fix.
I ask him what will fix the issue.
He said he didn't know, but he figured he would call us.
Again I suggested he try the proven solution.
He won't budge.
I ask him why he called us if he doesn't want to fix the problem and what he wants us to do.
He asks for my manager so he can complain.
I ask him for his manager so I can complain about him.
He says he'll hang up, I don't know who he is and he'll try something else.
I repeat his name, his employee information, his phone number and office address back to him and thank him for calling.
He asks how I have all that, I said you gave it to us when you gave us your employee number when you called in.
He got quiet.
He tried the solution.
His device started working.
He thanked me.
I'm going to send him flowers.

Customer: (five minute rant about passwords, security, stupid requirements omitted). "What can I do about this?"
Me: (after listening to them whine for far too long) *thinking* "Resign?"

So I'm sitting in my cube and someone is being smart for a Monday and says "Great news! Only 8 hours until you get to go home." I turned, looked at 'em and said "Even better news! 23 hours until we get to come back and do this all over again." Mondays.

Battlemaxx thought this poster couold be applied to this blog.

I'm back.
I went to get the pizza.
I pull up to the pizza place, go in to pick up the order.
I ask for the call-in/carry-out, and they can't find it.
I'm like "WTF you can't find it? We called it in 20 minutes ago. Where's my pizza."
So after a while I end up with a couple of free pizzas, bread sticks, and soda.
I won. They messed up.
I get home.
I carry the stuff in, and the wife asks me why I have Donato's pizza stuff.
I'm like "It is where we get pizza from all the time".
She's like not this time, we had a coupon for Pizza Hut.
Yeah, I held up a store by being an ass.
Next time I'm trying it at a car dealership.

Okay, so Tuesdays are trash days.
The wife was up, and she bagged the trash. I said I would walk it down to the street before I left.
So, I took the trash out and walked down the hill from our townhouse to the street.
We don't have trash bins, so we all just leave our trash bags in a pile by the driveway and street.
I wind up and fling one of the bags of trash, as I release it I notice something moving amongst the bags already there.
I figure it is a raccoon, or maybe a cat. No big deal.
I toss the second bag, and it is targeted for the critter.
As it is about to make contact I realize it is a skunk.
A damned skunk was in the trash.
It turns towards me, and comes running.
I take off.
I have a skunk after me.
I run up the hill, and into the garage.
I'm wheezing, panting, and laughing and hoping the damned thing didn't follow me into the garage.
It didn't.
I got into the house, sweat is dripping off me, I'm panting and the wife freaks out because she thinks I've had a heart attack or something from just a little bit of effort.
I tell her.
She laughs at me.
I thought it was funny.
It would have been the perfect excuse to call off work.
"Umm Mike, I can't make it today. Yeah. I know. I got sprayed by a skunk. I have to be hosed off now."
Then I figured fsck it. If I had gotten sprayed, I would just go to work all smelly and they could deal with it.

One of my daughters, one of the 2nd graders, announced to us tonight at dinner that she has a boyfriend and that she loves him.
I am not prepared for this.
I do not own a shotgun.
I asked my daughter what his intentions were towards her.
I figure I am okay, though.
She doesn't really like him. She didn't kick him in the shin then turn and run.

My wife was complaining that we eat out too much.
I told her that we eat out so much because that is where the food is located.

A caller at work today called, said that her VPN was working.
I asked if there was an error message.
She said "How the hell should I know?"
I replied with a comment that she called about a problem, we were going to troubleshoot it and if we were to resolve the issue we would have to work together and I would need some information.
She said let me try to VPN.
She tried, she got in, she hung up.
I love my job.

So, this guy posts our first comment to the blog.
I was debating whether it was inappropriate or not.
I'm a fan of free speech.
So, I'm just going to assume that he wants me to find a nice cat some time soon.
Joke is on him, though.
I don't care for cats.
Unless we're talking chinese takeout.