So, the radio is on, a song comes and goes and a bit later one of the kids comes over and asks me what a booty is and how to make it talk.
All my hair greyed instantly.

Well, the four year old came home mad.
Apparently you can't lay on the t-ball field while they play.
She got mad when her coach, her mom, her grandma, the other coach, and people in the stands yelled at her to stand up.

My wife isn't smart.
She took two of the kids out to eat, while I stayed home with the one that was in trouble.
My wife didn't bring me home anything.
So, I haven't eaten.
She asked me why I didn't eat with the one.
I said I wasn't a prisoner, and thought I'd get a treat like the others that got to go free.

Happy Mother's Day!
Tonight, my wife is doing what made her a mom in the first place.
Tequila shots!

So, the four year old is running around the house naked, humming the theme from the Smurfs tv show.