I'm trying to work on a really, really good whilden comment that'll be funny.
But, whilden is just funny.
You could write the word "whilden" up there, and let people draw their own conclusions.
It'd work.
but, then we'd probably have to pay him some royalties or something.
I pick on him. He never calls, he never writes.
Someone should teach him to call and write some time.

If you poop in the shower, someone has to clean it up.

Actually, do Republicans come from anal sex or is that just lawyers?

My mom is griping about her retirement fund from the state and what they've done to it.
I told her she has a plan.
Mine is just to die at work so they have to carry me to the dumpster.

We had to come over to my mom's place, to borrow some hair stuff.
The wife discovered lice, or cooties or bed bugs or something and now we have to search each strand of hair on everyone's head.
It got weird at the mall, I tell you.
That was before the wife said she meant the search was for family only
But, I did get six phone numbers and four of them were from women.
One of the other phone numbers is pretty old, it was just "6".

Remember the forgotten hero who saved the world
I saw that article earlier, and I saw some of the other supposed "20 closest moment" for the end of the world.
Personally, I thought the end of the world was the final season of Roseanne.
or, maybe it was when the Spice Girls second album was released.

Oh, and for those of you that have been wondering I've scrapped the scab project on my arm.
The wife vetoed the activity, didn't think it was "healthy".
She also made my put my pants back on.

The other night at cheerleading practice I made one of the moms laugh at me, and I didn't have to take off my pants.
My daughter wanted me to tell her a story while we waited.
So I did.
I told her the beginning of Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope.
The mom overheard me and I had to explain the different episodes and titles to her.
I'm like "This is Star Wars. This is like the bible and stuff. You should know it."
But, I bet I can't get the school board to hang the Tarkin Doctrine on the wall next to the Ten Commandments at school.

My wife thinks it is funny that there is a blog out there that people put stuff that I say on because they find it funny.
The only time she laughs at me is when I take my pants off.
At least with you guys I can leave them on.
'cept seldon keeps undressing me with his eyes, the freak.

Fscking hell.
One of the six year olds decided it was craft time.
So now I have fscking glue and glitter all over the damn kitchen.
The three year old got scissors and did with them what she always does, she mutilates her hair.
Fsck. Fsck. Fsck.
Oh well.
I'll be back later, if the wife lets me.

My wife worries when she hears the kids screaming.
I take it as a good sign, it means they are still getting oxygen.
[...]
Oh well.
Now they are quiet.
HOLY SHIT

Uh oh, three year got a boo boo.
But, the crisis has been averted.
Umm, she walked past the fan and she is bottomless and she was all like "oooo" and backed her butt up to it.
I suggested to my wife she try that later, but she didn't go for it.
If a three year old does it, it is cute.
If you suggest your wife do it, you're a letch.
Or, if you suggest she do it with her best friend and let you watch you're a perv.
But, you have to ask.
You just have to, it is out there.
You know it, she knows it, and her best friend knows it and hopefully wants it and will let you watch.

Yo!
Two things.
First, a Leatherman is not a personal grooming aid.
Second, most hunting and sporting good places do not carry what you would call "marital" aids.

I'm guarding the door, making sure the three year old doesn't escape.
She's tricky.
She's part ferret, I think.
She's also half-German which makes me worry.

Maybe I can post my "NFL Survivor" weekly thing there.
Great, now I have to live up to certain expectations.
First myspace, now blogpost.
What's next, a wiki article or sleeping in my car (again)?

I have this bump on my arm.
Well, it was a bump until I picked at it.
Now it is an ugly, open sore.
I wonder if I can pick my arm off via it.